|Not a good time for me.
||[Mar. 4th, 2004|01:35 pm]
|||||Zero 7 - Destiny||]|
[ written 5th period, during music ]
I'm not quite sure how to express myself at the moment, but I'll attempt to do it. Last night I was talking to my ex-girlfriend on the phone and she told me to hold on and clicked over. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but when she clicked back over and told me she suddenly had to take a shower I was suspicious. Now, I already don't believe most of anything that comes out of her mouth, but given the situation it made her credibility even worse. So, like she usually does to me, I told her to take it later. What got me was, how adamantly she wanted to get off of the phone. She's never like that and even takes baths sometimes so we can talk later. I eventually let her go, when she told she would call me back after the tenth time or so. Guess what? I never got that call. I may come off in the wrong way, but putting this into perspective with our history, I just can't bring myself to believe or trust in her completely anymore. I don't know any other female I'd put up with like this. Sometimes I actually have the uge to just sit and cry, but I grin and bear it. For her. I swear she takes me for granted, how much I've been there for her. I sit here, in music class, looking over everyone, especially the females. And sometimes I wonder, would they take me for granted?
[ at the moment ]
I've been cutting school a lot lately; mostly my last two classes so I can come home. I don't know what's wrong with me, and I haven't even gone to my last class. I just want to be left alone at home, maybe sneak a few drinks from my mom's liquor, but nothing worth mentioning. I want to go to Jace's birthday party, where ever it may be, even if it's just the two of us chillin' in his house. But I don't know how that's going to turn out with the way my mother is acting. My brother is coming back home for the weekend, and I honestly don't want to see him. The only family that I would want to see at any given time, is my little cousins. They're precious, watching them grow up and go through all the changes that I vaguely remember doing myself is heart-warming in the least. An aside from bearing my soul a little, I've been really, really horny late. To the point where I've even started to flirt with sophmores a bit on the crowded elevator in school, where we're forced to be shoved up against one another. Can't really complain about a female being pressed against my anterior, can I?